Bridget, her husband of 27 years, Neal, their 19-year-old daughter Joanna, and their beloved dogs, Viper and Roger. (Missing from this photo are Neal and Bridget’s 23-year-old daughter, Jackie, who will stay safe in San Francisco this year)
Before you read on, let’s take three deep breaths together, using Dr. Weill’s 4-7-8 breathing method. Please picture me sitting with you, holding the space for you with much care and empathy for all you’ve been through this year.
- Breathe in deeply through your nose for a count of four.
- Hold that breath for seven seconds, counting in your mind.
- Then exhale slowly through your mouth for eight seconds.
- Repeat two more times.
2020 was not the year any of us expected it to be. An inconceivable loss of human life across the globe. Examples of resilience and courage that we’d never seen before. A forced look at the dark spaces inside ourselves, our coping mechanisms, our use of time. For many… a deepening or re-evaluating of relationships that suddenly had us at home together 24/7. For others… the sudden disconnection from social support networks and the unbearable pain of that loneliness. For a good number of us… all of these.
Our pets were called to a new level of support service. We figured out Zoom or some other technology because it was the only way to see the faces and hear the voices of some of our most beloved humans on the planet.
There were days when it was all too much. There were quiet days when we felt a guilt-ridden tinge of gratitude for the slower pace.
There was a wake-up call for the laziness of those of us who aspire to call ourselves social justice warriors. Turning on the news brought an unprecedented level of anxiety. And even in the midst of so much shared trauma, people were more fiercely ideologically divided and unable to find common ground than ever before.
But then there was the time you showed up for someone who was sad or afraid, forgetting the things you don’t agree on. The time you allowed yourself to set everything aside and get extra rest. The time you admitted to someone safe that this is all really, really hard for you and felt so supported by their response. There was the time you amazed yourself by accomplishing something you were proud of, that you weren’t sure you could do, and that you had never done in quite that way before.
I reflect on our shared experiences to connect with you on an authentic, vulnerable level. Maybe you can’t relate to all of them. For me, they are all true, and there’s so much more. I know there is more for you too. 2020 will be a year none of us will forget.
Whatever your unique relationship with this year has been, I ask you to take my virtual hand and look back with me in reverence. With all its tragedies and triumphs… let’s breathe a deep sigh of relief as we say farewell to 2020. While the pandemic and its aftermath are far from over, it is a new year. A new start. And we bring to this new year new skills, new priorities, new learnings, and new ways of relating and being in the world.
I will not say “Happy New Year” to you. I will just say, “Hopeful New Year” to you. I wish you and your dear ones a year of safety, health, peace, and love.
Recommended Resources:
Recent Comments